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Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home2/falafrid/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 544
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{"id":4263,"date":"2019-11-05T08:00:42","date_gmt":"2019-11-05T11:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/?p=4263"},"modified":"2020-11-16T12:25:30","modified_gmt":"2020-11-16T15:25:30","slug":"mulheres-clandestinas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/opiniao\/mulheres-clandestinas\/","title":{"rendered":"Mulheres clandestinas"},"content":{"rendered":"\nA noite estava uma del\u00edcia. Um encontro de amigas virtuais regadas a muita piada, curiosidade e hist\u00f3rias inusitadas. Entre um caso e outro, reflex\u00f5es sobre nossas experi\u00eancias como mulher com defici\u00eancia, apesar de uma de n\u00f3s n\u00e3o ter esse \u201clocal de fala\u201d. Estava ali de olhos e ouvidos atentos como uma boa amiga feminista costuma ficar quando se v\u00ea diante de outra mulher. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Em um certo momento da conversa, entre uma cita\u00e7\u00e3o de Foucault e outra (afinal, garotas acad\u00eamicas), minha querida amiga Patr\u00edcia Guedes come\u00e7a a compartilhar uma de suas hist\u00f3rias afetivas. \u201cTeve um rapaz que fiquei, mas pediu para n\u00e3o contar pra ningu\u00e9m. N\u00e3o queria que os outros soubessem\u201d. <\/em>Claro que me identifiquei com esse relato, por\u00e9m o que me deslocou veio em seguida.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\u00a0\u201cMas \u00e9 aquela hist\u00f3ria, n\u00e9? N\u00f3s somos as clandestinas. As que ningu\u00e9m quer assumir\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nVoc\u00ea j\u00e1 observou como as coisas ganham for\u00e7a quando a nomeamos? \u00c9 como se certos sentimentos ficassem orbitando nossas ideias e, quando dizemos seus nomes desenrolam como um novelo de l\u00e3. Olhamos aquela linha extensa, vemos sua origem e a melhor maneira de lidar com eles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quando Paty nos nomeia como \u201cclandestinas\u201d n\u00e3o s\u00f3 facilita entender esse lugar que ocupamos, como tamb\u00e9m nos ajuda a perceber v\u00e1rios outros sentimentos conflitantes oriundos dessa posi\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quantas e quantas vezes recebi mensagens de homens casados\/ comprometidos com cantadas, elogios excessivos, convites e mais convites para encontros casuais. Quantas vezes homens se diziam interessados, mas jamais sa\u00edam comigo. Que n\u00e3o queriam relacionamento s\u00e9rio, mas na semana seguinte apareciam namorando uma garota sem defici\u00eancia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Desejam meu corpo pelas redes sociais, mas no mundo real sou apenas uma \u201cboa amiga\u201d, \u201cuma mulher incr\u00edvel\u201d, \u201calgu\u00e9m para ficar no cora\u00e7\u00e3o\u201d. A pior dessas hist\u00f3rias \u00e9 lembrar que a aus\u00eancia de um afeto verdadeiro me fez aceitar essas promessas, e cada uma das vezes eu me senti um lixo<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\nPensar que, talvez, essa seria (ou \u00e9) a \u00fanica maneira de ter alguma experi\u00eancia sexual poss\u00edvel porque n\u00e3o haver\u00e1 outras possibilidades. Porque para muitas mulheres com defici\u00eancia esse \u00e9 um dos fantasmas quando o assunto \u00e9 relacionamento. \u00c9 n\u00e3o saber quando teremos outra hist\u00f3ria, \u00e9 lembrar que possivelmente ir\u00e1 experimentar uma longa solid\u00e3o at\u00e9 encontrar algu\u00e9m novamente. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ser clandestina \u00e9 n\u00e3o ser escolhida para nada, ao mesmo tempo em que est\u00e1 dispon\u00edvel para tudo.\u00a0\u00c9 ansiar uma posi\u00e7\u00e3o, um acolhimento. \u00c9 ser reconhecida como algu\u00e9m que merece aten\u00e7\u00e3o. Que est\u00e1 ali n\u00e3o apenas para ser desejada sexualmente, tamb\u00e9m emocionalmente.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nSer clandestina \u00e9 gozar de uma liberdade estranha. \u00c9 poder fazer tudo, menos o que realmente quer. Depois que me descobri clandestina, confesso que me doeu. Ali\u00e1s, ainda d\u00f3i. A verdade faz isso com a gente, n\u00e9? Nos inquieta, confunde tudo aqui dentro. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tento n\u00e3o me julgar pelas escolhas que fiz, at\u00e9 porque ainda n\u00e3o sei se sa\u00ed completamente do lugar de clandestinagem. Fico pensando em quanto desse processo de amor-pr\u00f3prio que tanto pregamos por a\u00ed realmente d\u00e1 conta dessas realidades mais duras que vivenciamos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Como esperar que algu\u00e9m clandestino se ame e recuse hist\u00f3rias que possivelmente nunca ter\u00e1 em outro momento? Falamos tanto em esperar o tempo certo, a pessoa certa e desconsideramos o quanto viver \u00e9 breve. \u00c0s vezes o que nos resta \u00e9 s\u00f3 o agora.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Precisamos falar mais sobre relacionamentos para pessoas com defici\u00eancia considerando o problema desse tipo de experi\u00eancia. N\u00e3o \u00e9 apenas culpar a mulher por ser a outra, ou n\u00e3o ter autoestima. Isso nada tem a ver com n\u00e3o se valorizar, pois trata mais de uma recusa social de ver o corpo com defici\u00eancia como lugar de rela\u00e7\u00f5es afetivo-sexuais-humanas.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nFiquei pensando o quanto isso se trata de escolher ter liberdade sexual, mas voc\u00ea s\u00f3 pode escolher quando tem op\u00e7\u00f5es, caso contr\u00e1rio sua \u201cescolha\u201d nada mais \u00e9 do que imposi\u00e7\u00e3o. Conversando com a Patr\u00edcia, ela me presenteia mais uma vez com a seguinte reflex\u00e3o: \u201cEu acho que a gente \u00e9 privada das duas coisas, sabe? Da liberdade sexual e do afeto. Nem o desejo, nem o afeto a gente pode exercer livremente.<\/em>\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nFico muito incomodada quando vejo discursos que n\u00e3o entendam esse lugar. Devemos ter cuidado conosco? Claro. Mas antes, vamos discutir sobre essa e esta situa\u00e7\u00e3o de opress\u00e3o? Porque s\u00f3 assim para conseguirmos nos apropriar desse empoderamento. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
At\u00e9 l\u00e1, continuaremos na clandestinagem, escondidas e sendo chacotas para piadas na roda de bar. \u201cFulano \u00e9 t\u00e3o pegador que ficou at\u00e9 com aquela menina cadeirante\u201d<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\nPois \u00e9. A cadeirante sou eu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
* Este texto foi originalmente publicado no blog Disbuga, da Fatine Oliveira, no dia 18 de outubro de 2019. Para ler outros textos incr\u00edveis como esse, acesse aqui<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A noite estava uma del\u00edcia. Um encontro de amigas virtuais regadas a muita piada, curiosidade e hist\u00f3rias inusitadas. Entre um caso e outro, reflex\u00f5es sobre nossas experi\u00eancias como mulher com defici\u00eancia, apesar de uma de n\u00f3s n\u00e3o ter esse \u201clocal de fala\u201d. Estava ali de olhos e ouvidos atentos como uma boa amiga feminista costuma […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":7712,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[206,125],"tags":[75,166,91],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4263"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4263"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7714,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4263\/revisions\/7714"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7712"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}