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Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home2/falafrid/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 544
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{"id":2712,"date":"2018-01-23T08:00:18","date_gmt":"2018-01-23T11:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/?p=2712"},"modified":"2020-12-06T11:45:06","modified_gmt":"2020-12-06T14:45:06","slug":"relato-de-uma-mae-sem-filho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/relato\/relato-de-uma-mae-sem-filho\/","title":{"rendered":"Relato de uma m\u00e3e sem filho"},"content":{"rendered":"Vou come\u00e7ar respondendo a uma pergunta: n\u00e3o, eu n\u00e3o sou m\u00e3e, como tantas outras fridas que escrevem por aqui. Mas espero ser. Mesmo (ainda) n\u00e3o sendo m\u00e3e, eu me permiti escrever neste espa\u00e7o sobre minha experi\u00eancia com a maternidade ou com a gesta\u00e7\u00e3o, talvez o segundo seja melhor. Logo v\u00e3o entender!<\/p>\n
No ano de 2015, eu vivi duas experi\u00eancias de vida e de morte, ambas com uma brevidade de espantar. Passei por dois abortos espont\u00e2neos, ou melhor, um aborto espont\u00e2neo e um aborto retido, como a medicina costuma chamar cada um dos casos. Foram duas experi\u00eancias diferentes, ambas doloridas, que deixaram marcas, claro. Mas que me ajudaram a captar melhor a mensagem dessa decis\u00e3o, dessa escolha que \u00e9 querer ser m\u00e3e. Parece estranho, mas sim, elas me ajudaram a compreender o meu pr\u00f3prio desejo de ser m\u00e3e.<\/p>\n
Eu me permiti e senti a necessidade de compartilhar o que vivi porque, ao passar por essas experi\u00eancias, nunca antes imaginadas \u2013 pois \u00e9, n\u00e3o controlamos tudo como queremos acreditar \u2013, eu me dei conta de que essa \u00e9 uma realidade comum para muitas mulheres. Depois de ter relatado o que aconteceu comigo para algumas amigas e outras pessoas pr\u00f3ximas, num espa\u00e7o de tempo n\u00e3o t\u00e3o longo assim, recebi mensagens ou fui o ombro de amigo de outras mulheres que me contaram muito afetuosamente que algo parecido havia ocorrido com elas e conversamos sobre. Ent\u00e3o percebi que o fim de uma gesta\u00e7\u00e3o repentinamente \u00e9 mais comum do que eu mesma podia imaginar. Claro, os m\u00e9dicos dizem isso quando d\u00e3o seu diagn\u00f3stico e relatam pra voc\u00ea o que aconteceu, mas voc\u00ea parece n\u00e3o acreditar muito e diz: \u201c\u00e9 s\u00f3 uma maneira de me consolar e tentar me acalmar\u201d. Na sua cabe\u00e7a, o que vem \u00e9: \u201cPor que comigo?\u201d ou \u201cPor que s\u00f3 comigo? Eu conhe\u00e7o mais mulheres gr\u00e1vidas e com filhos pequenos saud\u00e1veis do que mulheres que perderam suas gesta\u00e7\u00f5es\u201d. Mas a quest\u00e3o \u00e9: ocorre muito e n\u00e3o se divulga por v\u00e1rios motivos, sobre os quais prefiro n\u00e3o me alongar aqui. Vou preferir tratar da minha experi\u00eancia sobre a perda e o que eu fiz com ela.<\/p>\n
Meu primeiro aborto ocorreu no m\u00eas de maio de 2015. Eu estava com pouco mais de cinco semanas de gesta\u00e7\u00e3o. Faria o ultrassom na quinta feira daquela semana para precisar a idade gestacional, quando, na ter\u00e7a-feira no final da tarde, comecei a sentir c\u00f3lica abdominal e visualizei um pequeno corrimento com cor avermelhada. Assustada, relatei ao meu marido e fomos juntos ao hospital para uma avalia\u00e7\u00e3o. No ultrassom feito no atendimento, veio a not\u00edcia de que o saco gestacional havia diminu\u00eddo de tamanho em rela\u00e7\u00e3o ao exame anterior. Aquele n\u00e3o era um bom sinal. A recomenda\u00e7\u00e3o foi ficar em repouso e aguardar o que aconteceria. Minha m\u00e9dica indicou a ingest\u00e3o de progesterona e assim segui por quinze dias at\u00e9 novo exame, que constatou nenhuma evolu\u00e7\u00e3o. Para fim de hist\u00f3ria, ap\u00f3s essa verifica\u00e7\u00e3o, parei de tomar o horm\u00f4nio indicado e, cerca de cinco ou seis dias ap\u00f3s, tive um sangramento: era um aborto espont\u00e2neo. Naquela situa\u00e7\u00e3o, o melhor dos cen\u00e1rios: nada de procedimento cir\u00fargico para limpeza. Sim, havia acabado. Foi tudo muito r\u00e1pido! Em menos de um m\u00eas, tr\u00eas exames indicaram: voc\u00ea est\u00e1 gr\u00e1vida, a gravidez corre risco e a gravidez acabou. R\u00e1pido e simples assim. Por incr\u00edvel que pare\u00e7a, acho que a rapidez me ajudou a processar tudo: \u201cAconteceu. Tudo bem. Bola pra frente\u201d. Uma nota: meu marido ficou mais abalado do que eu.<\/p>\n
De todo modo, seguimos nossa vida. Em nossos planos, aquele era o momento para engravidarmos (baita ousadia!). Passaram-se alguns meses. N\u00e3o hav\u00edamos planejado, mas, no in\u00edcio de agosto, constatei que estava gr\u00e1vida novamente. Ficamos felizes!!! Mas logo a hist\u00f3ria se repetiria. J\u00e1 no primeiro ultrassom, verificou-se que o saco gestacional estava com formas irregulares. Progesterona de novo! Era preciso aguardar para saber como se daria a evolu\u00e7\u00e3o. Foi um pouco mais longo. Cheguei \u00e0s 10 semanas, mas nada de bom cen\u00e1rio. Diagn\u00f3stico: gravidez anembrion\u00e1ria. Aborto retido. Baque. Mas vamos l\u00e1 one more time<\/i>. Parei novamente de tomar a progesterona e agendamos a curetagem. Tudo sob controle. Nada disso! Se a primeira vez foi r\u00e1pida e quase indolor, a segunda foi traum\u00e1tica.<\/p>\n
Dois dias antes da data agendada para a curetagem, tive uma hemorragia fort\u00edssima. Comecei a sentir dor \u00e0s 4h da manh\u00e3. Meu marido saiu \u00e0s 4h30 de casa para uma viagem de trabalho. Quarenta minutos depois, liguei pedindo que voltasse pra casa. N\u00e3o tinha condi\u00e7\u00e3o nenhuma de ficar sozinha nem de ir ao hospital por conta pr\u00f3pria. Perdi muito sangue em pouqu\u00edssimo tempo. Tanto que desmaiei tr\u00eas vezes em menos de uma hora. Para minha sorte, Jo\u00e3o chegou pouco antes de meu primeiro desmaio. E segurou as pontas. Me reanimou todas as vezes. Sa\u00ed de casa de ambul\u00e2ncia. No hospital, j\u00e1 medicada e sendo muito bem atendida (os anjos estavam comigo!), desmaiei uma quarta vez. Foi punk! No final, fiz uma curetagem \u00e0s pressas para estabilizar o quadro. Fiquei no hospital aquele dia todo. Sa\u00ed de noite, com Jo\u00e3o indo me buscar. S\u00f3 eu e ele, mais ningu\u00e9m. Meus pais souberam apenas no outro dia. Era um momento nosso, de reunirmos for\u00e7as para superar tudo aquilo. Diferente da primeira vez, em que eu (acho!) fui a for\u00e7a dele; dessa vez, ele foi a minha for\u00e7a. E ficamos bem. Estamos bem e queremos tentar de novo agora, depois de dois anos passados.<\/p>\n
O que aprendemos com isso? Especialmente o que eu aprendi? N\u00e3o era a hora! \u00c9 muito claro isso pra mim. Nosso corpo \u00e9 s\u00e1bio e a gente, mulher, \u00e9 muito forte! \u00c9 preciso ter paci\u00eancia e coragem pra entender. Repito: n\u00e3o controlamos tudo, como acreditamos. Eu disse antes que Jo\u00e3o e eu est\u00e1vamos certos de que aquele era o melhor momento para ter um filho. Eu havia feito um planejamento pensando no lado profissional. Ou seja, eu tinha achado um espa\u00e7o na minha agenda (santa inoc\u00eancia!). Mas vem o mundo e os acontecimentos e os sentimentos e tudo mais para dizer: \u201ca vida n\u00e3o \u00e9 assim!\u201d. Ser m\u00e3e ou decidir ser m\u00e3e, no meu caso, \u00e9 algo muito maior.<\/p>\n
Nesses dois anos depois das perdas, passei por muita coisa importante em outras esferas da vida, o que inclui trabalho, rela\u00e7\u00f5es familiares, autoconhecimento. A terapia me ajudou e muito nesse processo! Com ela, me dei conta de que precisava enfrentar outras quest\u00f5es… talvez outros fantasmas. Tenho um uma hist\u00f3ria familiar em que, em alguns momentos, a not\u00edcia de uma gravidez estava imersa numa zona ca\u00f3tica. Precisava lidar com isso. Precisei lidar com minha pr\u00f3pria ideia de quem eu era como mulher e o de que eu acreditava ser naquele momento. Deu certo! Entendi, claramente, que antes de ser m\u00e3e, precisava daquele acerto de contas comigo e com a minha hist\u00f3ria. Foi mais dif\u00edcil e intenso do que aquele trauma do segundo aborto. Mas foi excelente! Continua sendo… Nossa luta n\u00e3o para.<\/p>\n
Estou pronta para ser m\u00e3e? Certamente n\u00e3o. Sei que a gente nunca est\u00e1 e que a gente vai aprendendo-fazendo-sendo. Mas algo \u00e9 certo: estou DISPON\u00cdVEL para.\u00a0 Sem medo de tentar de novo. Mas e se acontecer novamente? \u00c9 o risco. Tamb\u00e9m estou dispon\u00edvel para isso. N\u00e3o importa. Isso \u00e9 tamb\u00e9m j\u00e1 aprender a ser m\u00e3e. Esse \u00e9 o meu recado.<\/p>\n
Falei que conversei com outras mulheres que passaram por experi\u00eancias parecidas com a minha. Para muita delas, ainda abaladas com a nega\u00e7\u00e3o do corpo para a vida nova, pairava o medo de tentar de novo e a inseguran\u00e7a. Nada mais natural! Mas proponho pensar o seguinte: a gente \u00e9 muito forte e nossa natureza \u00e9 s\u00e1bia. Se querer ser m\u00e3e, seja l\u00e1 como for, cada uma a seu jeito e com sua hist\u00f3ria, \u00e9 uma decis\u00e3o de alma e cora\u00e7\u00e3o, a nossa fragilidade se transforma em for\u00e7a. For\u00e7a para o que der e vier. Vamos l\u00e1 superar medos?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Vou come\u00e7ar respondendo a uma pergunta: n\u00e3o, eu n\u00e3o sou m\u00e3e, como tantas outras fridas que escrevem por aqui. Mas espero ser. Mesmo (ainda) n\u00e3o sendo m\u00e3e, eu me permiti escrever neste espa\u00e7o sobre minha experi\u00eancia com a maternidade ou com a gesta\u00e7\u00e3o, talvez o segundo seja melhor. Logo v\u00e3o entender! No ano de 2015, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":7743,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[207,126],"tags":[129,98,34,43],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2712"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2712"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2712\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7745,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2712\/revisions\/7745"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}