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{"id":2449,"date":"2017-11-17T08:00:40","date_gmt":"2017-11-17T11:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/?p=2449"},"modified":"2021-01-05T00:03:50","modified_gmt":"2021-01-05T03:03:50","slug":"experimentos-de-liberdade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/relato\/experimentos-de-liberdade\/","title":{"rendered":"Experimentos de liberdade"},"content":{"rendered":"

Eu me sinto livre. Ao mesmo tempo a ideia de liberdade parece t\u00e3o vaga. Eu n\u00e3o sei desde quando nem porque me sinto assim. N\u00e3o sei sequer se faz sentido entender. Eu me sinto tranquila. A tranquilidade me liberta. Me ajuda a lidar com preocupa\u00e7\u00f5es. Eu me sinto livre. Livre para existir e para amar. H\u00e1 muito espa\u00e7o em mim para o amor. \u00c9 delicioso ter todo esse espa\u00e7o porque o amor apenas se multiplica. Eu recomendo que voc\u00eas fa\u00e7am cada vez mais espa\u00e7o em voc\u00eas para o amor, para a generosidade, para a gentileza em pequenos momentos di\u00e1rios. E n\u00e3o estou falando sobre o amor rom\u00e2ntico. O amor rom\u00e2ntico \u00e9 outra hist\u00f3ria. Amar de maneira n\u00e3o rom\u00e2ntica \u00e9 muito poderoso, \u00e9 revolucion\u00e1rio. \u00c9 um amor sem escolhas, amor que impera e se expande em todas as rela\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

Eu comecei a escrever o par\u00e1grafo anterior no s\u00e1bado de manh\u00e3, ainda deitada. Dormi mais. Retomei a escrita no domingo \u00e0 noite, ap\u00f3s ir ao cinema sozinha assistir \u00abDolores\u00bb. Ir ao cinema sozinha \u00e9 um presente para mim. Eu me sinto alegre em poder me permitir viver algo que eu gosto tanto. \u00c9 uma pr\u00e1tica de amor.<\/p>\n

Enquanto eu escrevia isso, esperando o metr\u00f4 um senhor me chamou e conversou comigo. Ele queria saber sobre o que eu estava escrevendo. Eu desconversei. Ele estava me paquerando. Eu fui educada, mas mantive a dist\u00e2ncia que necessito para me proteger. Foi uma situa\u00e7\u00e3o para praticar o que eu estava escrevendo. Ele me perguntou se eu era solteira ou casada. Eu respondi em voz alta e tive a impress\u00e3o de que a esta\u00e7\u00e3o toda me ouviu.<\/p>\n

Conversamos um pouco. Ele me contou sobre seus dois casamentos. A primeira esposa faleceu e a segunda o trocou por outro. Quando o metr\u00f4 chegou, eu esperei q ele fosse na frente para que ele n\u00e3o se sentasse perto de mim. Ele sentou em um banco vazio e me disse pra me sentar ao lado dele. Eu agradeci e disse que prefiro ir sozinha. Provavelmente ele se ofendeu. Os homens se ofendem com muita facilidade. \u00c9 dif\u00edcil sentir que a exist\u00eancia feminina vai al\u00e9m dos seus arredores. Ele me perguntou onde eu morava e eu respondi educadamente \u00abn\u00e3o vou te dizer\u00bb. Talvez ele aprenda a n\u00e3o mais perguntar. Tomara.<\/p>\n

Quando eu sa\u00ed do trem eu lhe desejei boa semana. Ele tinha olhos tristes e solit\u00e1rios. \u00abEu prefiro ir sozinha\u00bb ficou ecoando. Eu realmente prefiro. N\u00e3o \u00e9 sempre, mas eu gosto e preciso. Eu me delicio comigo. On my own \u00e9 um privil\u00e9gio imensur\u00e1vel quando se \u00e9 mulher. N\u00e3o sai barato. O pre\u00e7o \u00e9 alto e a satisfa\u00e7\u00e3o mais ainda.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Foto | L\u00edgia Francisco<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

On my own way. On my way (to where?). My way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eu gostaria de envelhecer pensando que more much more than this I did it my way. A minha m\u00e3e gostava dessa m\u00fasica. N\u00e3o apenas ela. A minha m\u00e3e foi no show do Sinatra no Brasil. Era uma grande alegria ouvi-la contar. \u00c9 bonito ver algu\u00e9m relembrar um momento especial. Seus olhos se iluminavam e, de um jeito diferente, os meus tamb\u00e9m nesse exato momento.<\/p>\n

Eu desconfio muito de que viver praticando a generosidade seja bastante produtivo para evitar arrependimentos. Eu posso me imaginar me arrependendo de ter sido muito generosa apenas se eu n\u00e3o for tamb\u00e9m generosa comigo. Por isso eu quero tentar ir ao cinema sozinha uma vez por semana. Como eu fiz no meu anivers\u00e1rio e hoje \u00e0 noite. Quando cheguei em casa preparei uma salada e foi tamb\u00e9m um ato de carinho.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 importante se nutrir de muitas maneiras. Pode ser dif\u00edcil saber do que temos fome. Amar tem me alimentado, mas tem me alimentado principalmente de desafios. \u00c9 incrivelmente dif\u00edcil amar sem escolhas, se n\u00e3o h\u00e1 escolhas o mesmo amor que vai, deveria ir para si tamb\u00e9m. Por independer de escolhas, o fluxo de amor n\u00e3o poderia ser interrompido sequer por escolhas alheias.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 dif\u00edcil n\u00e3o alimentar \u00f3dio por quem recusa nosso amor. Com generosidade tento pensar que nem tudo gira ao meu redor, tento n\u00e3o me ofender e tento me convencer de que sou incapaz de entender. Eu sigo adiante apenas buscando me direcionar a mim mesma pra curar a dor do desperd\u00edcio. Pro amor rejeitado virar \u00f3dio basta uma fa\u00edsca de tristeza. O \u00f3dio \u00e9 uma arma, mas \u00e9 principalmente armadilha. Eu me esfor\u00e7o para estar livre dele.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eu me sinto livre. Ao mesmo tempo a ideia de liberdade parece t\u00e3o vaga. Eu n\u00e3o sei desde quando nem porque me sinto assim. N\u00e3o sei sequer se faz sentido entender. Eu me sinto tranquila. A tranquilidade me liberta. Me ajuda a lidar com preocupa\u00e7\u00f5es. Eu me sinto livre. Livre para existir e para amar. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":2451,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[205,126],"tags":[98,74,37,86,43],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2449"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2449"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2529,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2449\/revisions\/2529"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}