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{"id":14702,"date":"2022-08-23T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-23T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/?p=14702"},"modified":"2022-08-22T00:14:56","modified_gmt":"2022-08-22T03:14:56","slug":"a-metrica-da-maturidade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/autoconhecimento\/a-metrica-da-maturidade\/","title":{"rendered":"A m\u00e9trica da maturidade"},"content":{"rendered":"\nCostumo falar para minhas amigas que n\u00e3o conhe\u00e7o ningu\u00e9m que tenha amadurecido tomando caipirinha, deitada numa rede em Fernando de Noronha e lixando as unhas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As surpresas da vida s\u00e3o realmente uranianas, quando voc\u00ea menos ou pouco espera, l\u00e1 vem uma not\u00edcia inesperada, uma mudan\u00e7a de rota, um luto, uma dor, um rompimento e a\u00ed ao acolher e viver o que D\u00d3I, vem o aprendizado, a experi\u00eancia traz o b\u00f4nus, o caminho para amadurecer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eu me separei h\u00e1 pouco tempo, mas j\u00e1 me sentia completamente separada h\u00e1 quase dois anos. Casamos com o sonho de envelhecermos juntos, mudar para uma casa com uma \u00e1rvore e uma horta, um cachorro que se chamaria Jung , uma lareira entre outros detalhes. Mas o casamento era triangular, eu, ele e o \u00e1lcool. Fim de linha. Chegou o dia inevit\u00e1vel e sa\u00ed sem olhar para atr\u00e1s, literalmente. Eu me sentia como algu\u00e9m que come um queijo su\u00ed\u00e7o a dois, ele comia o queijo e eu comia os furos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meu ex \u00e9 um grande ser humano, mas muito\u00a0resistente \u00e0s mudan\u00e7as. Ele sempre tentando provar que eu era o problema e uma mulher cheia de insatisfa\u00e7\u00e3o e que ele n\u00e3o precisava de ajuda psicol\u00f3gica. Iniciamos a terapia de casal, foi um fracasso.\u00a0 \u00c9 necess\u00e1rio ter muita coragem para encarar um setting terap\u00eautico e falar do lado escuro e sombrio, o lado que todos n\u00f3s temos. O encontro com nossas sombras \u00e9 doloroso. Eu optei em dar cada vez mais \u00eanfase na minha analise junguiana. Resultado? Foram in\u00fameras caixas de len\u00e7os Kleenex, um ano sab\u00e1tico de profunda solid\u00e3o, dias cinzentos. Fui me recuperando aos poucos, criando novos h\u00e1bitos, rotinas, construindo um novo lar, agora somente meu. Comigo veio a samambaia Artem\u00edsia (homenagem a pintora Artem\u00edsia Gentileschi) e o Jung nunca foi adotado. Minha vida resumida em 23 caixas de papel\u00e3o e uma cafeteira ligada praticamente o dia todo at\u00e9 o fim do desencaixotamento dos livros e dos sentimentos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tudo passa e sem menos esperar ou procurar, aconteceu um encontro que me fez refletir muito. Fui numa exposi\u00e7\u00e3o de artes visuais e conheci um homem com cara de homem, voz de homem, cavalheiro, mas com um jeito irresist\u00edvel de menino. Algum tempo depois nos encontramos para caminhar, um convite elegante que partiu dele. A caminhada resultou em quatro horas e meia de conversa profunda, ele n\u00e3o escondeu quem era, ele foi muito verdadeiro, afirmando ser um homem imaturo e em busca de crescimento e muito determinado as visitas ao setting terap\u00eautico. Foi uma tarde gelada de inverno e quase morremos de hipotermia no retorno do papo cabe\u00e7a, a temperatura despencou com o p\u00f4r do sol. Esse homem confiou em mim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mas n\u00e3o tardou e um segundo encontro aconteceu. Houve o que posso chamar de esperado inesperado. Depois de um jantar, o beijo e \u00a8otras cossitas m\u00e1s\u00a8, ele disse que n\u00e3o estava pronto pra transar comigo naquele momento. Sim, em pleno s\u00e9culo 21, o homem quase habitando Marte, aquele homem \u00a8gigante\u00a8 (ele com quase 2 metros e eu com 1,62 com muito esfor\u00e7o) dono dos ombros largos mais lindos que do Phelps me abra\u00e7ava, disse a sua verdade, foi transparente, e muito mais maduro do que ele pensa que \u00e9. Mas mesmo com a not\u00edcia surpresa a noite foi muito gostosa. Assim eu achava. Eu estava realmente bonita e natural, perfumada e usava um vestido longe de ser uma \u00a8femme fatale\u00a8. Mas na sequ\u00eancia houve um afastamento por parte dele, e o interesse n\u00e3o era rec\u00edproco.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No primeiro momento bateu a frustra\u00e7\u00e3o, o sentimento de rejei\u00e7\u00e3o, e achei que ele n\u00e3o me curtiu. Mas porque esse acontecimento me deixou t\u00e3o mexida? Porque o sentimento de exclus\u00e3o me pegou? Resposta complexa? De certa forma sim. <\/p>\n\n\n
O fato mexeu com a minha seguran\u00e7a, com a minha autoestima, com o valor que eu esperei de fora e n\u00e3o de dentro de mim. Mas e a maturidade que eu achei que eu tinha, onde ela estava?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\nAcredito que essa experi\u00eancia me fez reavaliar tudo isso e concluir que a maturidade alcan\u00e7ada n\u00e3o \u00e9 intoc\u00e1vel, perder o equil\u00edbrio faz parte da caminhada por encontr\u00e1-lo e se permitir ser insegura e fr\u00e1gil \u00e9 normal sim. N\u00e3o existe uma m\u00e9trica que define estar pronta, segura, madura! Ser madura implica em compreender que o meu tempo n\u00e3o \u00e9 o tempo do outro. Meus anseios e desejos s\u00e3o meus e n\u00e3o do outro. Aceitar essas quest\u00f5es e n\u00e3o se subestimar \u00e9 ter maturidade. Ele foi muito corajoso me confidenciando seus dilemas, suas angustias e sua inseguran\u00e7as. Minhas expectativas n\u00e3o correspondidas foram os aditivos para obter essa compreens\u00e3o.\u00a0 O fato de n\u00e3o ter acontecido o que eu desejava, n\u00e3o invalida minhas qualidades. Ser madura \u00e9 compreender que os processos s\u00e3o individuais e seguir em frente. Esse homem me ensinou muito mais do que ele imagina, mostrando sua inseguran\u00e7a e vulnerabilidade. E aprendi que fui t\u00e3o insegura e vulner\u00e1vel quanto ele e esse processo n\u00e3o tem fim. Ficam os aprendizados.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Costumo falar para minhas amigas que n\u00e3o conhe\u00e7o ningu\u00e9m que tenha amadurecido tomando caipirinha, deitada numa rede em Fernando de Noronha e lixando as unhas. As surpresas da vida s\u00e3o realmente uranianas, quando voc\u00ea menos ou pouco espera, l\u00e1 vem uma not\u00edcia inesperada, uma mudan\u00e7a de rota, um luto, uma dor, um rompimento e a\u00ed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":14703,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[204],"tags":[98,84,37],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14702"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14702"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14708,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14702\/revisions\/14708"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14703"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/falafrida.com.br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}